John Popolini was born on the outskirts of LA in a town called Glendale. He was orphaned at an early age. As we all know losing a parent at any age can be horrific but for a child of 8 years old it was awful. This was an extremely traumatic time for John as it was the first time he'd ever been to a theme park. As far as John can remember, it all happened very fast. He said;

"I was with them all day at the park, going on all the rides, we had such fun. Then at one point they both flipped out at me for throwing an ice cream at a fat kid. They left me there, all alone. I searched hours for them, I had the park scream their names over the PA system. There was no response. I couldn't work it out. It was at that moment, in my heart, I knew I'd lost them."

John knew of an estranged uncle, Popo Popolini, his fathers brother, who had been disowned by the family some years ago for drowning twelve poodle puppies in the family toilet. Through John's natural ability to make the worst out of a bad situation, he managed to hunt down Popo at his used car lot, steal a car and get arrested at aged 8. He claimed that Popo was his father and through his natural powers of hypnosis, convinced the police that this was true.

It was then the strong bond between Popo and John was formed. Over the next 9 years, John lived with Popo in his caravan on the car lot and went to school nearby, or should we say, went to 9 different schools nearby. He was a bit of a handful as the hatred and resentment for losing his parents was always in his mind and caused him to lash out.

John learnt a huge amount about underhanded sales techniques from Popo, but more importantly his thirst for learning about the human condition and psychology was born. At the age of sixteen, John left Popo after the two of them had a nasty fight over who ate the last portion of Lucky Charms. John proceeded to poke Popo in his left eye, blinding him instantly. This would later form part of John's H.I.I.T teachings (High Impact Intimidation Techniques).

He said, "Times were pretty hard after I left Uncle Popo, I was $95,000 dollars in debt with credit cards and loans, I had five bucks in cash to my name. So I walked, I walked all around town wondering what to do. Them it hit me….. a can of Coors from a drunk. In that moment, I thought what am I doing with my life? Why am I here on this planet?

It was then I realised that I was a sales machine, I had strong opinions about stuff and knew so much about how the human mind worked. I decided then that I wanted to dominate the masses, plant my sucksess seeds into them and make copious amounts of cash doing so. I anointed myself, "Guru John Popolini (GJP), the Worlds #1 Sucksess Guru".

GJP was quick to get aquainted with a with a local manager of a 4 star hotel. He wooed her with flowers and hypnosis and before you could say, "GJP is the second coming", he was given the largest conference room for free, whenever he wanted it.

He said; "I quickly became known all over LA as a child pedigree, people travelled far and wide to listen to my teachings and wisdom filled insights on sucksess. I ran 8 seminars over 8 weeks and raked in over $175,000. This helped me pay off my debts and enabled me to buy a second hand Ferrari for $65,000. It was then, my amazing journey started. I had this mythical place in my head for years. A place where I wanted to live one day, called Sucksessville. That came into being when I was 21. I bought a town for $250,000 and called it Sucksessville. All my teachings nowadays are geared up to getting my disciples there. God Bless…… ME!"